We’re now into March, which means that the kidney stone of calendar months is finally over. As things start to warm up, keep an eye open for outdoor events toward the end of the month and into April, culminating with the first Triffid Ranch show of the year at the Dallas Oddities & Curiosities Expo on March 26. In the meantime, we’re back for another Saturday afternoon open house this weekend, starting at noon and running, as usual, until 5:00 pm. Never let it be said that it’s dull around here.
It’s back on schedule: the Fifth Anniversary (At This Location) Open House is on for this Saturday, starting at noon and running until 5:00 pm. Over the next few weeks, the flytraps and North American pitcher plants will be waking up, so expect lots of photos to get an idea of what to expect by April.
Bad weather is coming through the Dallas area, but it’s coming through after the weekend. In the meantime, the Texas Triffid Ranch Valentine’s Day Massacree and Carnivorous Plant Open House is still set for February 12 from noon until 5:00 pm (admission is free and masks are mandatory), and then it’s back to finishing up personal moving before the rains hit on Wednesday. The flytraps and North American pitcher plants are still in winter dormancy, but they’re going to love the downpours all the same.
Icepocalypse or no, this Saturday is the big Texas Triffid Ranch Lunar New Year open house, running from noon until 5:00 pm. It’ll be cold (it seems as if this weekend is always the one with the massive Dallas snow and ice storm), but not cold enough to keep it from going. See you then.
No open house this weekend due to the ongoing move, but the Lunar New Year open house on February 5 should make up for that. In the meantime, February 4 should have been the 82nd birthday of George A. Romero, and if the gallery has any specific unique holidays, Romero’s Birthday definitely qualifies.
After a short but much-needed hiatus, the Texas Triffid Ranch open houses are starting back up again, with the first of 2022 running this Saturday from noon until 5:00 pm. Keep checking back, too, because the plan is to have a lot more events in 2022 than in 2021.
Nothing going on at the Triffid Ranch today, other than lots of long-delayed cleaning and organizing (New Year’s Weekend is traditionally a weekend for cleaning, and the end of 2021 includes a lot of packing), and nothing planned until the next open house on January 15. Go have fun, by yourself or with a tested and masked group, and we’ll all see each other in 2022.
Some of you may be making plans to come out to the gallery for the December 18 Nightmare Weekend Before Christmas, and some of you may be holding off until the open house on December 24, both running from noon until 5:00 pm. The rest of you are probably making plans for dinner next week, with or without family. It may be the traditional sharing for this time of the year, but the holiday season just isn’t the same without cooking tips from Canada’s answer to Doctor Who:
It’s Friday evening, which means it’s time to get ready for Saturday’s Nightmare Weekend Before Christmas open house, running from noon until 5:00 pm on December 11. (If you can’t make that, we’ll have one additional Saturday open house on December 18, as well as a Friday open house on December 24.) This weekend is also the absolute last chance to get in any orders for custom enclosures intended to be delivered before December 25, but feel free to pick up a previously established enclosure as well. You want to go home with a Nepenthes rajah enclosure the size of a typical flatscreen TV, don’t you?
Now that the last road trip of 2021 is done, it’s back to the gallery for the rest of the year. The Nightmare Weekends Before Christmas open houses start this Saturday, December 4, running from 12 noon to 5:00 pm: admission and parking are free, masks are mandatory, and there’s still time to get in a commission on a custom enclosure in time for Christmas Eve.
Unfortunately, the Triffid Ranch Nightmare Weekends Before Christmas don’t start this weekend, nor is the gallery participating in Small Business Saturday. There’s a good reason for it, though. The Triffid Ranch goes abroad this weekend, setting up on Friday for the Blood Over Texas Horror For the Holidays showcase at Palmer Event Center in Austin on Saturday and Sunday, November 27 and 28. In the meantime, solidarity with friends and cohorts in retail, and the usual suggestion on an addition to the incessant Christmas music playlists:
It’s nearing the end of November, and it’s coming up on the 57th anniversary of THAT day. No, not the “back and to the left” day, although you’d think it was a holiday in Dallas. Maybe the next time Dallas gives itself a new holiday, we might involve a few more Cybermen and Silurians, just to be a little different?
If you’re in a need for green, the last open house of autumn is coming up on Saturday, from noon until 5:00 pm. Better get scooting, though: this will be the last open house until the Nightmare Weekends Before Christmas open houses start up on December 3. That’s the explanation for the break: it’s a matter of being ready for both these and the Blood Over Texas Horror for the Holidays show in Austin on November 27 and 28. You understand, don’t you?
As appropriate as it would be to have a gallery event on Halloween weekend, the gallery goes quiet this weekend in order for your hardworking proprietors to attend the wedding of two of our best and oldest friends. Don’t worry, though: we’ll be back. We always come back.
The penultimate weekend before Halloween, and we have plans, Specifically, this weekend’s Porch Sale (most likely held indoors just because of the unnaturally warm weather this weekend, just to make sure) is going to happen if it kills us, which it just might. (Unfortunately, because two of our best friends are getting married on Halloween weekend, don’t expect any Triffid Ranch events then, but we’ll have one last big event on November 6, and then we have to go quiet in order to get everything ready for the Nightmare Weekends Before Christmas events happening every Saturday starting December 4.) As always, admission is free, masks are mandatory, and I’m bringing doughnuts just in case Pete Freedman of Central Track comes out to visit. See you then.
With October comes a nearly full plate of Triffid Ranch events, starting with a weekend of troublemaking at Armadillocon 43 in Austin (already in progress), and then it’s back to the gallery for one more Porch Sale on October 23. (Sadly, we won’t be at this year’s Aquashella on Halloween weekend, but the plan is to be there in 2022.) We hope to have some additional news to go with these that should make everyone exceedingly happy, so keep checking back.
Four years ago, the Triffid Ranch debuted in its current location, opening right when Dallas was overrun by shambling, mindless horrors. In 2021, the Triffid Ranch once again opens in time for the streets of downtown to run with margarita vomit and exclamations of “Look at that! They’ve got buildings THREE STORIES high! I bet they got indoor toilets, too!” And the visitors who went to Oklahoma State will be almost as bad, if nowhere near as arrogant and insecure. Hence, since we’ll be outnumbered 400,000 to one, the gallery opens on Saturday, October 23 from 10 am to 3 pm (those UT brats trying to get in early because “Facebook says you’re open now” will be solidly mocked), in the hopes of conditioning them, controlling them. We’ve got to do this: it’s our only hope.
EDIT: When it rains, it pours. Due to several situations completely out of our control, the Saturday Porch Sale is having to be rescheduled again, this time to Saturday, October 23. Thank you for your understanding: we’re going to have the October 23 Porch Sale if it kills us, which it just might.)
It’s October, so we’re simultaneously looking at the beginning of spooky season and the last big explosion in growth of temperate carnivorous plants (particularly Venus flytraps and Sarracenia pitcher plants) before they start to go dormant for the winter. Either way, we’ll see you on October 9 for the next big Triffid Ranch open house.
No events at the gallery this weekend, because as you read this, the whole kit and caboodle is at Texas Frightmare Weekend at DFW Airport. No events the next weekend, either, partly because Caroline has her own show at FenCon on September 17 through 19, and partly because recuperation from Frightmare takes a while. But before we’re all gibbering wrecks, though, come out to see what’s going on.
The best thing about September 2021 is that it’s not August 2021, and we’re muddling through. The gallery opens at 4:00 pm on September 4 for Carnivorous Plant Weekend, and everyone who knew Caroline’s mother is welcome to come out and share memories.
On the gallery side, considering that we’re looking at a chance of thunderstorms, and I suspect that most potential attendees aren’t into being able to jumpstart cars with their bare hands, the weekend Porch Sale will once again be inside, running from 10 am to 3 pm. Even if that chance of thunderstorms evaporates as so many of them do this time of the year, inside is still a better option: as always, attendance is free and masks are mandatory.
In other developments, the Angry Candy dish keeps filling up, and it’s time to remember C. Dean Andersson, an old friend from my early writing days. Hail and farewell, Dean: I regret that we lost touch after I quit writing, but our long conversations in the Nineties still bear fruit today.
No Porch Sale this weekend, as the Triffid Ranch moves to Curious Garden for the Attack of the Carnivorous Plant workshop on August 7 from 11:00 am to 2:00 pm. (Seating is very limited, so if you haven’t snagged a space yet, do so NOW.) The Porch Sales return on August 14, though, with a celebration of the gallery’s 6th anniversary on August 21, and then show season starts in earnest in September. I hope.
In ongoing efforts to stir things up and make the gallery more accessible for those with odd work/life schedules, the next indoor Porch Sale is this Saturday (July 31), running from 10:00 am to 3:00 pm so we can all avoid the worst of the heat. After that, no Porch Sale next weekend: not only does the Triffid Ranch move to Curious Garden for a carnivorous plant workshop on August 7, but Caroline’s birthday is the day before, and that needs some serious celebrating. If you want to join the festivities a week early, we’ll see you on Saturday.
No events this weekend: this weekend is dedicated toward essential work at the gallery, and that precludes opening it to the public. However, the rest of July and the beginning of August have plans, including a couple of surprises, and more as we nail down a schedule for August, September, and October.
With the extended weekend (at least in the States) comes a new ongoing Carnivorous Plant Weekend, starting from 4:00 pm to 9:00 pm on Saturday, July 3 and continuing on July 4 from 10:00 am to 3:00 pm. Now if you’ll excuse me, it’s time for some creative destruction in the gallery.
Last weekend in June, and would you believe a chance of rain through Dallas all next week? Like anyone’s complaining. The last Porch Sale of the month runs Sunday, from 10:00 am to 3:00 pm, and all of that is preparation for the Carnivorous Plant Weekend running July 3 and 4. (And for the record, this marks just over 2000 posts on this silly site over the last 10 years. Since nobody’s going to give me a cookie, I’m buying my own.)
By the time you read this, the Triffid Ranch will be decamped and moved to Austin, in order to set up for the Oddities & Curiosities Expo at Palmer Convention Center in downtown Austin. If you don’t already have tickets, get them now, because the Oddities crew won’t have them available at the door. Otherwise, this will be the only trip outside of Dallas until November 21, when it’s time to haul everything back to Austin for the Blood Over Texas Horror for the Holidays 7 show. Either way, no Porch Sale this weekend, because I’ll be dealing with the horrors of Interstate Highway 35 on a Sunday right when the Porch Sales normally happen. If I don’t see you in Austin this Saturday, I’ll definitely see you at the next Porch Sale on June 27.
It’s going to be a busy weekend: Saturday is dedicated to heading west to Cross Plains for Robert Howard Days to see an old friend while there’s the chance, and then Sunday is all about this weekend’s Porch Sale. After that, it’s time for a road trip to Austin for the Oddities & Curiosities Expo at the Palmer Convention Center. I’ve heard about this thing called “sleep,” and I really hope it doesn’t catch on.
The Sunday Porch Sales continue with a slight time change: starting June 6, we’re open on Sundays from 10:00 am to 3:00 pm, with everything moving inside if the rains on Sunday are as bad as currently predicted. We’ll see what happens.
Lots of reasons to celebrate this weekend: 25 years ago this week, myself, an ex, three cats, and a savannah monitor crossed the Rocky Mountains to set up house in Portland, Oregon. (The celebration came in escaping Portland 18 months later.) This weekend, we’ve got the Carnivorous Plant Weekend going on at the gallery: 4:00 pm to 9:00 pm on Saturday, May 29 and 10:00 am to 4:00 on Sunday, May 30. Oh, and keep an eye open for further upcoming events, because this summer is going to get odd.
Okay, so the weather report for Saturday keeps getting worse, with thunderstorms over the entire afternoon: the Triffid Ranch tent can handle rain, but not hail and certainly not the possibility of tornadoes, so the planned Frightmare Collectibles cameo regretfully has to be cancelled. At least next weekend’s Carnivorous Plant Weekend is indoors, eh?
In a better universe, Joey Ramone will be celebrating his 70th birthday next Wednesday, surrounded by friends, fans, and music awards, preferably at a monster party at the newly renovated CBGB’s. With Morrissey bussing tables and snaking out the toilet. We don’t live in that better universe, and while I’m not going to stop looking for a way there, making this universe a little better every day is just as good.
Another friendly reminder: because of impending incredibly foul weather (and in Texas, “foul weather is usually a synonym for “hail and tornadoes”), this weekend’s Triffid Ranch event at Frightmare Collectibles was cancelled early this morning. We’re awaiting word as to when Frightmare Collectibles wants to try again (and ever notice that tornadoes only blow you to Oz and not Melnibone or Nehwon?), but until then, there’s always the Mother’s Day Porch Sale on May 9. See you then.
Much like an old girlfriend’s severe dairy allergies made her an obligate vegan, my severe aversion to alcohol and various respiratory issues make me an obligate teetotaler. (Don’t get me going about opiates: two weeks after thoroughly invasive rotator cuff surgery in 1994, I went cold turkey on my prescribed painkillers because the pain was preferable.) That said, with 4/20 coming up, celebrate according to local laws and customs, secure in the knowledge that you won’t having me mooching your booze, your weed, or your chocolate. The more for everyone else, right?
For those more in the mood for other vegetative celebrations, we’re going to try again with a Sunday morning Porch Sale on April 18, running from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm. The weather should be exemplary, and masks will be mandatory. See you then.
After the last three weekends, it’s time to stay home for a little bit. The first Triffid Ranch Porch Sale of the season opens this Sunday at 10:00 out in front of the gallery, and I’ll keep the tent up until 4:00. See you then. (EDIT: due to particularly intense vaccine reactions, this Sunday’s Porch Sale has to be cancelled. The Manchester United Flower Show is still on in two weeks, though.)
Another weekend, another Triffid Ranch outdoor show, and just in time for some spectacularly beautiful weather. This Saturday, it’s time for the Spring Slasher Camp at Frightmare Collectibles in Justin: the festivities start at 11am and keep going until 9:00 pm. Admission is free and masks are mandatory.
Well, back to the linen mines: this weekend’s Triffid Ranch appearance is at the Dallas Oddities & Curiosities Expo in Fair Park, making up for last year’s cancellation. Considering how much of a joy it is to be at an Oddities & Curiosities show (look for the Triffid Ranch booth in Austin in June, too), I don’t know who’s going to be more thrilled to be there: the vendors or the attendees.
With outdoor markets starting to open up again, the Triffid Ranch follows. This Saturday, it’s the Boho Market at Klyde Warren Park in downtown Dallas, from 10:00 am to 4:00 pm: March 2021 is going to be BUSY.